Have you ever noticed how kids in this day and age refer to things? There’s a whole new jargon developing for their generation, some of which I consider a clever and innovative shorthand, and others are just, in my opinion, a monumental deterioration of articulation. It’s an unfortunate wave of (un)fashionable vocabulary. This that brings us to today’s story, The Plight of the Conver.
I have always been a huge fan of Chuck Taylors. The variety of colors, the versatility of the canvas carriage, getting one where they need to go. They can do so in nerdily humble fashion, or loud and flamboyant. The personality of ones Chucks lies solely in the wearer. They’ll take you down the beach and down the aisle, the chameleon of the fashion world. I have been so much a fan, that when Mavis grew old enough to realize how awesome they were, they offered customized versions, which we totally bought in to. It wasn’t until her 4th pair, years later, that I realized my failure.
It started out as a normal, hustle-up-and-out-the-door day. Mavis was getting dressed, and her white Converse were just the right thing to finish off her ensemble. But, true to everything Journey, she could only find one white shoe. She said to me, “Mom, have you seen my other white Conver?” I ignored the error there, and rushed to find it before the bus pulled up and away, making my morning even more of a cluster than it usually is. I spied the rubber toe poking out from under the couch, and sent her on her way.
A few weeks later, we had an instance of deja-shoe. With one in hand, she asked for help finding…. The. Other. Conver!!! Where have we gone wrong? She thinks these are Convers, so naturally one shoe without its mate would be considered a Conver. I tried explaining the proper way to refer to one singular shoe of this kind, and the value of taking both shoes off in the same time zone, but all she heard was the wah-wah-wah voice of all Charlie Brown adults.
I then asked a few other kids her age, what would you call this one shoe? With much confidence, and a couple of times a twinge of condescension, they all answered the same. “A conver!”
I plead with the parents out there. We must do what we can to educate our kids when it comes to things of this magnitude! Be an All Star, teach them the ways of the Chucks! How you refer to these classics? Participate in the poll (above, to the right, or below, depending on your web-surfing apparatus), because everyone likes a survey!