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Bartles and Shames

The Oregon Coast – It’s a beautiful thing, but be wise!!

Our first few getaways as a couple were quite a comical disaster. Being young, brains and money were two areas where our cup didn’t runneth over.

That being said, our accommodations were cheap, oceanfront, but cheap. The place we chose –twice- for some reason, was a throw-back to the 70’s. Well, not so much a throw-back as a never-escaped-from. Wood paneling, tacky Jacuzzi tub, surrounded by shag carpet, of course. There isn’t enough Purell in the world to get me back there! We joke now, 20+ years later, that the place is jinxed.

Our first visit, we locked the keys in our car. Thankfully our lodging provided us plenty of fancy wire hangers, so breaking in to our own little General Lee wasn’t too hard. Then, on our trip home, it overheated. We were, of course, completely unprepared for any sort of roadside calamity. We used a McDonald’s cup to collect water from a nearby ditch, to put in a very hot radiator. And a few days later Tony was learning first-hand how to repair a head gasket.

Second time. Same freaking place. Why? Because we enjoy cheap rates and crappy paneling. We scored a pizza and some Bartles and James peach coolers, got a lil crazy, and here’s what happened….

We were on the beach all day, laughing at every douche-canoe that decided to drive (and inevitably get stuck) on the sand. It was actually quite entertaining, until we killed a 4 pack of Bartles and James. Then, THEN we thought this would be a great idea. To take the ONLY Subaru that was not 4WD out. Unbeknownst to us, we arrived at the same time as a rapidly incoming tide! When we got stuck, the water was still a ways out. The more we tried to get out, the faster the water came up.

I ran screaming to the (crappy) motel. They did get someone there spot on. I loved that car. She was quite a gem! It made me sad, to watch the waves pound her like the Titanic, her headlights flickering…. We paid $170 that night to get her off the beach. We then spent all of our actual cash at a car wash, hosing the undercarriage.  That car never performed any differently. Which is why I love Subaru, and hate wine coolers… 😉


2 comments on “Bartles and Shames

  1. You “out-done” yourself on that one! I absolutely laughed all the way through. You are fantastic!!!

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